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Friendship Lesson 4: Forgive, Forget, Move on

Let’s be honest…we all have that one friend who has entered and exited our lives more frequent than Carrie and Big broke up (and got back together, only to break up again). You’re friends one day, then something tragic happens and you’re no longer speaking. Please note that I’m not talking about frenemies, that’s a completely separate topic…three blog posts, two bottles of wine, and one very good therapist should be dedicated to that category of friends.
20131121-110829.jpgLook up “frenemies” in the Oxford Dictionary, and you will find a picture of these girls. This is of course, before Lindsay’s 15 rehab stints. Is she still in rehab or prison? Anyone know? I lost track….

What I’m talking about is that on-again, off-again friend, with whom you have spats often. Can’t you hear Lana del Rey singing about these kinds of friendships? “I’ve got that friendship madness” or “We were born to be friends” or something equally brilliant that sings the words from your soul. 20131121-112446.jpg
I’ve had an on-again, off-again friend since I was 15…and we’ve been on one helluva friendship roller coaster. My memories of our friendship are sprinkled with highs and lows, peaks and troughs. Lots of screaming, but lots of fun, too.
20131121-110957.jpgBlair and Serena are a perfect reflection of me and my on-again, off-again BFF. I’ll be Blair, I’m definitely more conniving than my counterpart.

One particular time, my BFFAEAE (best friend forever, and ever, and ever) did something SO outrageous. You wouldn’t believe it! Are you ready for it? She prioritized her boyfriend (now husband) before me. The nerve! GRRRR! This is how my college-self felt.

She couldn’t help but get swept off her feet by this amazing man, and all I could think about were the missed phone calls and IMs (my screen name…I’m so embarrassed… was BabyNermin922…please don’t judge me).

Words were said. Feelings were hurt. Tears were shed. Promises made to never be friends again. We stopped talking. For a while (like a week, but in girl world, a week is like a really, really long time).
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Then, a mutual friend of ours invited her out to Target. And we rehashed our friendship in the cleaning supplies aisle, among the Swiffers and toilet plungers. Our mutual friend was singing, “Reunited and it feels so good” and the Target shoppers thought we were out on a day pass from the nearby psychiatric facility.
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We’ve been friends since. But, we’ve had a million phases of our friendship where we haven’t talked, or been upset with each other (mostly about foolish things that I don’t remember anymore).

She forgave me for being a bitch and I forgave her for being a bad friend. That’s what my friend taught me.
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Forgive. Forget. Move on. Holding a grudge is like drinking poison but expecting the other person to suffer.
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Remember, friends make life more fun. So forgive, forget, and move on. Lumelle.

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