You’re not intentionally, or consciously aware that you are being a bad friend. But if you find yourself doing at least a few of the items below, fairly regularly, then you need to go to friendship rehab asap. (For inquiries about friendship rehab, contact Lumelle).
1) You cancel last minute, ALL THE TIME.
Sometimes sh*t happens: last minute deadlines at work, a freak snowstorm/torrential downpour, or roommate drama.
What we can’t excuse is when you cancel an hour before we’re supposed to meet for any of the following reasons: you can’t figure out what to wear, you don’t feel like putting on clothes, your going out outfit is at the cleaners–really anything related to your wardrobe. Get it together, or don’t make plans at all.
(You’re breaking up. Did you say you’re canceling 45 minutes before you’re supposed to be here?)
2) You bring your boyfriend along when we hang out, ALL THE TIME.
Once in a while is fine. But, if we plan a girls night, and you bring your boyfriend along, that’s not cool. Get him his own friends or leave him at home.
(Image courtesy: http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3qi9oMqv51rrxbw8o1_500.jpg)
3) When we hangout, all you do is talk about YOU, YOUR BOYFRIEND, YOUR JOB, YOUR CHILD, YOUR DOG.
Psst, friendship is a two-way street. That means that you have to LISTEN and wait your turn to talk about you (which I promise will happen). But, please don’t bore us with mind numbing details about your personal life, like how your boyfriend cooked the perfect risotto last night, or how your child learned how to roll over. We want to talk about you, not about all these extraneous people or things.
(Image Courtesy: HBO/http://thefirstruleoffilmclub.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/hateeveryone1.gif?w=690&h=373)
4) You think you are better, cooler, prettier, (insert word ending in “er” here) than us.
Case in point: Nene Leakes. Don’t be Nene.
(Image Courtesy: http://cdn.necolebitchie.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Nene-leakes-im-rich.jpg)
6) You never pay.
Who do you think we are? We’re not your sugar daddy.
7) You’re always on the prowl for your future baby daddy.
If you’re looking for someone to date, try the gazillions of dating apps and websites. Don’t use our time to meet someone new.
8) You “borrow” my things, and don’t return them.
Did you think I forgot about my favorite black work sweater that you borrowed on your date last week? I want it back, it’s my fave.
(Image courtesy: https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/q71/1012620_478218415599611_2109225361_n.jpg)
9) You lie (and we know you’re lying).
We’re not friends because of who you claim you met at Starbucks or the Lakers game or whatever. Don’t lie, because we know you’re lying.
(Image courtesy – In Touch)
10) Your cup is always half empty.
Sometimes, we like to share our dreams with friends. Like having Ryan Gosling save us from a crazy cab driver, subsequently falling in love, and proposing, Notebook style. Please don’t kill the vibe by telling us that he’s dating someone else, or that he only dates super models. Dream a little, and let us dream…
(Image courtesy: http://www.funnymemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Ryan-gosling-meme-feel-my-sweater.jpg)